Today I Choose

Road trip to Fort De Chartres, an Illinois historic site, with a side trip into Waterloo, Illinois (founded in 1818).

I love to drive before dawn, when the inky indigo of night still has its grip firmly on reality. Things you know are there, aren’t. Trees, bushes, houses, powerlines, all hidden until the beam of headlights illuminates them for a partial moment, then they’re gone again.

Slowly, before your mind really has time to grasp it, your eyes register a change in the light. What was hidden first becomes shapes without definition, blurs and shades of blues and purples, then, as the light increases, the shapes become forms, the forms become objects, the objects have names.

Things you know are there are still there.

Sometimes relationships are like those deep indigo nights, where everything about your lover is there, but you can’t see them. You get glimpses in the headlights, but you keep going, thinking, maybe what you’re seeing isn’t really what you think it is.

Then the dawn breaks in the eastern sky.

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