Regaining My Center

Somewhere during the past few weeks, I lost touch with my center: the place where I need to be to stay focused and whole.

I’ve allowed outside distractions dictate my reactions and I realized I was suffering for it.

I know when it started: May 26, Memorial Day weekend.

I got up that Saturday morning, looking forward to my weekly 7 AM walk at the Botanical Gardens, weekly being the key word here: It’s truly the highlight of my week, my reward for wearing the Monday through Friday yoke of adult responsibility without melting down completely…. except they weren’t letting anyone in. No signs posted on the doors, no email blasts in that morning’s cue, just a verbal “It’s on the website,” from the guards.

Apparently, hidden in a small subtext on the hours-of-operations page is a disclosure that morning walking hours are suspended during special events.

Special events?? Oh, yeah, the Chinese Lantern Festival.

I got angry, mostly because MoBot can send me weekly email blasts reminding me they want my $65 membership renewal starting a full three months before expiration, but they can’t send *one* ahead of an event reminding everyone that hours have changed slightly. But instead of letting it go, I stuck it in the slow-cooker, and avoided the Garden altogether until this morning.  This morning I walked three miles in the Garden and tried to find my peace.

I think I did.

I thought about what, and who, was distracting me, and how those distractions had me feeling like I was spiraling out of control. Some things I can change, some things I can’t … Grant me the wisdom to know the difference.